DID GAYS MAKE DADDY LEAVE HOME? Ben responds to Eve

Eve, I wholeheartedly agree with you about the epidemic of fatherless homes. But opposing same-sex marriage won't send deadbeat dads back home or oversexed boys into responsible men. Men abandon their families for reasons like irresponsibility and fear. They look at the women they've
gotten pregnant, think of years of hard work and childrearing, and take off. Shotgun weddings were invented for reasons having nothing to do with gays.

Cultural symbols (like a loving husband, wife, and kids) do guide and inspire. And if only people were wholly passive, they'd know only what information and symbols we gave them, and remain ignorant of what we withheld. Then we could rest assured that as long as we never mentioned
those gay people, no one would ever be "confused" by them. But it doesn't work that way. There's no quick and easy causal relationship between symbols and behavior. We can't just play out a battle in the symbolic realm (evil gays intrude on precious family) and project real human history
from it. What's more important is how our heroes and peers instantiate those norms in our daily lives. It's at that level that people do see gay couples are not out to destroy the world.

So wanting to strengthen marriage is fine. But opponents of equality always make demonization look nice by saying, "We're shutting you out because...we're full of love [for our own]! And you'll ruin everything." It's an old story. You don't get moral credit when nice-sounding declarations obscure the nasty reality of oppression.
posted by maggie at 6:28 PM VOTE

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