THE UNBEATABLE INFERTILITY ARGUMENT: Gabriel Rosenberg

Well, we agree on a lot. I also see marriage not as a ceremony conferring legal benefits, but as a social institution. The legal ramifications are consequences of the institution of marriage and not the purpose of marriage. It appears that we also agree that the institution of marriage has multiple purposes. We seem to disagree on its primary purpose, though. I have explained my belief that the institution is primarily about an obligation to care for one another. You see marriage as "the place where we think it is a good idea to have children." I agree with that statement, but not in the same way you do.

I believe the statement is true in the sense that if people decide to have children, it is a good idea to do it within marriage. I understand you to believe, in addition, that if you decide to get married, it is a good idea for you to have children. I personally don't think all married couples should have children, and I don't think we feel that way as a society either. Certainly a marriage license does not grant societal endorsement of a couple's parenting ability. When an elderly couple gets married, we can celebrate their union without hoping they'll have babies. We can even think that it would be a bad idea for them to adopt so late in their lives. Nor is it just a matter of endorsing their marriage so that if the man remains faithful he won't have other children outside of marriage. We could still celebrate the marriage if both partners were infertile. Also the same reasoning would apply to a man marrying another man. If he is faithful to his vows he won't be producing any children outside of marriage.

I am not saying the issue of a child having a father and mother versus two married parents is irrelevant to the marriage debate. In particular, allowing same-sex marriage could lead to more same-sex couples having children. I am saying, though, that it is possible to endorse the idea of same-sex marriage without necessarily condoning same-sex parenting.


posted by maggie at 11:04 AM VOTE

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