Marriage and Gender: Maggie v. Sam

So you say marriage is organized around women's sexuality (note: not their interests, or their their choices, but their sexuality and/or sexual interests).

One wonders why men do it, really. Masochism?

I think what is radically unlikely in your theory is the utterly one-sided nature of it. How and why could such an institution attract and sustain men? How do you explain why, even in a sexual revolution to the vast majority of men marry?

Let me suggest two non-utilitarian, or to use your language ":primal" sexual goods of marriage for men: a. It gives them fatherhood. A male and sexually affirming role which men can only really achieve through the bodies of a woman married to them. b. It gives them at least one woman who belongs to them. For the men, the principle of "at least one" woman willing to sleep with them is deeply important. And men too prefer to think a woman is sleeping with them because she loves them.

How do you explain men's willingness to marry in a sexual culture that allows men many other outlets. And how can you explain the defection of women from marriage (primarily through divorce) if this is the institution organized around their sexual needs? Are they blind? Un-womaned?

What?









posted by maggie at 11:35 PM VOTE

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