DO KIDS NEED MOTHERS AND FATHERS? Michael Triplett

As I read the passionate (and persuasive) arguments why both mothers and fathers are important, I notice that there is a lot of research being used to support propositions that the research never explored. I concur that the vast amount of research shows that children who live in a home with their biological mother and father in a low-conflict marriage are the most "successful" when compared to children raised in single parent households or even households where a biological parent has remarried or the parents are cohabiting. However, this research doesn't explore what happens to children raised in two-parent, low-conflict relationship families with two parents of the same gender. There is little research that shows whether those families are more like (a) married bio parents, (b) single parents or (c) cohabitors. My guess is that they are more like married bio parents, but that's my admitted bias. However, to toss out empirical data and research that doesn't control for the result one is touting is intellectually dishonest and doesn't allow for an honest debate. Yes, among "traditional" family settings, a married bio mom and dad in a low-conflict marriage is the best. But without research that factors in low-conflict, same-sex parent relationships, the research is informative and interesting, but not the holy grail.

When we talk about the hunger for father's attention in fatherless families, it is not merely about gender. It usually means that we are talking about homes with single mothers who are often ill-equipped and prepared to be
parents. We are talking about communities with high levels of poverty. We are talking about high levels of relationship dysfunction that may prevent mom from ever having positive relatioships with men. Those factors
should not be conflated to mean that two women raising an adopted or biological child are going to have the same problems as a single mom. You can't compare those situations at all, except for the absence of a male. Unless we plan on creating a social policy that strips children away from single moms or dads, we shouldn't create a social
policy that denies the right to marry just because it lacks parents of one gender or the other.
posted by Eve at 8:55 PM VOTE

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