GENDER AND MARRIAGE: David Benkof replies to Mike Pignatello

It's a mistake to reduce the need children have for both a mother and a father to stereotypes of masculinity and femininity. In fact, a key moment when a little boy learns how to be a man from his Dad might be when he sees his father cry.

I would not advocate that adoption agencies, for example, pass over opposite-sex parents who show a willingness to act in gender-atypical ways in order to give a child to a more stereotyped family. The issue, for me, is whether a child gets both a mother and a father, not whether the mother is always nurturing and the father is always disciplinary.

As for gay and bisexual men parenting with straight women, it's something I plan to do someday. I expect the marriage to be honest, faithful, and to include children. So certainly, I think it can be a good environment for children and given that people are so much more than their libidos, I disagree that Family Robinson was and Family Benkof will be "fundamentally contrary" to our nature.
posted by Eve at 4:28 PM VOTE

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