THE EUROPEAN FAMILY DEBATE: Mark Barton replies to Maggie Gallagher

Maggie Gallagher: To me, the most persuasive part of Stanley Kurtz's argument is this: If you go around telling people that marriage has nothing in particular to do with making and raising children, people
just might believe you.

Mark B.: So? Whether that's a problem or not depends entirely on what they come to believe marriage does have to do with, which in turn depends partly on what else you tell them. The natural alternative belief is that that marriage is about recognizing and facilitating stable relationships. That's not in any necessary conflict with the proposition that "Children need mothers and fathers," which appears to be the end goal in Maggie's slogan. If it's really true that children need both a mother and a father, then then that imposes an obvious moral imperative on biological parents: that they ought to put a high (not infinite but still high) priority on sticking together long enough to raise the children they've had or are planning to have. That's all Maggie needs. She doesn't need the word "marriage" or the legal framework of civil marriage to make this sermon and she doesn't need marriage to be opposite-sex only. In fact I suggest she might well be more effective than she's being now, because the second part of her slogan "and marriage is how you get that for people" won't come across as an offensive slap at childless opposite-sex couples and same-sex couples.

Maggie Gallagher: [...] The core idea of SSM, as many recent posts from its advocates suggest, is that no one family form is any better than another.

Mark B.: Not at all. Of course, as it happens, I do indeed believe that the above idea is true, at least to the extent that the choices are opposite-sex and same-sex couples. Indeed, I know that it's true, at least to quite a good enough approximation to be getting on with. But the above is not the core idea of SSM. The core idea of SSM is that both opposite-sex and same-sex relationships are equally worthy of recognition and facilitation. Even if traditional marriage were a uniquely wonderful environment for childrearing, SSM would still be the right thing to do.
posted by Eve at 9:34 AM VOTE

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