SSM AND FATHERHOOD: Kathleen Parker

Ever since the same-sex marriage debate began, I've wondered: Where are the fathers? If ever there were a cause to which the once-robust fatherhood movement might attach itself, this one logically should be at the top of the list.

The answer I got when I posed the question to one of the movement's leaders was threefold:

One, fathers have avoided the issue as marginal, believing that same-sex marriage doesn't directly concern them.

Two, though people have a visceral reaction to the idea of same-sex marriage, they have trouble articulating why they oppose it.

And finally, "Nobody wants to be called a bigot," said Stephen Baskerville, a Howard University political science professor and president of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children.

Fathers don't think same-sex marriage affects them directly? In light of the travails endured by the fatherhood movement over the past decade, same-sex marriage stands as a particularly decisive blow in the disenfranchisement of fathers in American culture. How? By reinforcing the idea that one parent is disposable, which has been both an unspoken tenet of American divorce and the animating force behind the fatherhood movement. ...

When we survey the evidence, what happens when children don't have fathers? Single motherhood, despite the heart-warming stories of virtuous single moms (I was once one), is a predictor for children at higher risk for teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, academic underachievement, drug use and juvenile delinquency. ...

At its root, same-sex marriage is predicated on two grossly faulty premises: (1) that children do not need both a mother and a father; (2) that two moms or two dads are just as good as a mother and a father. Here is where most people I know register their visceral opposition, even if they can't articulate just why.
We who have raised children know better. The unique gifts that mothers and fathers bring to their children cannot be replaced by substitutes. I suspect that heterosexuals--and even some homosexuals--who have been lucky enough to have two loving parents can affirm this truth.

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posted by Eve at 10:59 PM VOTE

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