LOVE AND MARRIAGE: David Kuner replies to Michael Triplett

Michael Triplett said: "Now, maybe those are my issues, but I do think they inform the collective conscious as we view marriage. People talk about love because most hope to be able to be with the person they love for the rest of their lives."

I hate to beat this point to death, but how on earth have we gotten the idea the passion and obligation, or love and obligation, are mutually exclusive?

A sense of obligation will see you through times in your marriage when feelings of love fail you, and will in fact point you on to a love far more enduring that the fleeting sort of "drunken abandon" you're talking about. (Not that I am against drunken abandon per se. But from my experience, everyone who gets drunk has to -- or wants to -- sober up eventually). You can't force yourself to feel love, but you can see to it that you fulfill your obligations. And in the process, you might just find your way to greater happiness and real, abiding, mature married love.

And, as for "it's beautiful sex, not just sex for procreation," guess what: Having sex for the purposes of procreation is not joyless drudgery. Many a husband and wife would tell you that it can be the most passionate, exciting and memorable sex that there is.

posted by Eve at 6:27 PM VOTE

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