SSM AND BULLYING: RK Becker replies to Mark Barton

What both Mark Barton and Bruce Steele are probably arguing is this: "Neither marriage in and of itself nor government approval will directly normalize gay relationships. However, after a period of time, perhaps years, the fact of SSM will have sunk in and thus there will no longer be an obvious distinction between homosexual and heterosexual couples. Hence, for the most part intolerant people will stop bullying them, and intolerant kids will stop bullying their children, because there is nothing abnormal about them to pick on anymore."

But is it true? Will SSM really lead, eventually, to a great reduction in the bullying of gays, or the children of gays?

I quote Steele: "Kids have an instinct for finding out what makes other kids different, and they use that knowledge as a weapon when they spar with their peers, whether playfully or angrily."

Will SSM cause gay couples to no longer be seen as even being different? I doubt it.I don't doubt that SSM will lead to further legitimization of gay relationships and homosexual conduct--among the majority of the population that is tolerant (at least in the way that that term is commonly used, that is, leaving out the question of ideological tolerance) and not prone to engage in hostile behavior toward minorities and those who are different. But precisely because this is NOT the segment of society that engages in the most egregious gay-bashing, it will have little effect on that problem. It is among the minority that tends to engage in intolerant acts toward people who are different that any reduction in anti-gay sentiment would have to come. And I am not at all persuaded that this group will become any less intolerant toward gays because SSM is legalized. Unless heterosexuality ceases to be seen as the majority situation--which I think both supporters and opponents of SSM would agree is unlikely even in the long run--gays will always be regarded by that segment of society as being different and abnormal, and unless society gets at the real basic problem among the bullying group--a general psychological need to feel superior by attacking any group seen as different--I do not foresee the most severe forms of gay bashing diminishing.

So, yes, I think that the idea that SSM will eliminate or drastically reduce bullying toward gays or the children of gays is wishful thinking, even in the long run. But this does not mean that I do not also think that among the rest of society, there will be an increasing legitimization of homosexuality and bisexuality, and with it a blurring of some important distinctions which any culture has to maintain.

posted by Eve at 4:48 PM VOTE

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