TIES THAT UNWIND: From the Chicago Tribune

...Across the country, same-sex adoptions and the rights of gay and lesbian parents increasingly are being challenged during a time when the gay marriage debate has ignited a movement by conservative groups seeking to protect the traditional family.

A growing number of legal challenges can be attributed in part to the dramatic rise in same-sex families. According to 2000 U.S. Census data, 34 percent of all lesbian couples and 22 percent of all gay male couples are raising children under the age of 18, compared to 19.5 percent of lesbian couples and 5 percent of male couples in 1990.

But in particular, pregnancies achieved through artificial insemination and state laws that have made it easier for non-birth parents to adopt have placed two-mommy households under fire. ...

"I think it's interesting how the gay marriage debate has been really large in the media, and there's been very little focus on gay families," said Michelle M. Hughes, an adoption attorney in Chicago who has handled same-sex adoptions. "While everybody is arguing over whether there should be marriage or not, the number of gay families is increasing astronomically. And these kids are going to be raised in these homes. Whether you allow adoption or not, it's going on."

Oklahoma is the latest state to crack down on gay adoptions. Florida is the only state with a law that prohibits homosexuals from adopting children, whether single or as a couple. Mississippi and Utah have strict prohibitions against adoption by same-sex couples, while states such as Arkansas and North Carolina restrict unmarried couples, which would preclude gays and lesbians. Yet, overall, same-sex adoption has gained acceptance in the last 10 years. ...

Today, the majority of same-sex adoption cases involve a biological parent and a non-biological co-parent, Kendell said. But even in the best relationships, non-biological parents who rely solely on their partner's goodwill could potentially face a custodial challenge from their partners' relatives if the birth parent dies, or from their partner if the couple break up. ...

It's fair to say that when Janet Miller-Jenkins and her former partner, Lisa Miller-Jenkins, traveled to Vermont in 2000 to be joined in a civil union, which is legal in that state, they thought they would be together forever. Lisa became pregnant through donor insemination and gave birth to Isabella in April 2002.

Janet, 40, said she cut the umbilical cord and gave Isabella her first bath. But she did not adopt Isabella, because she said she believed the civil union provided her legal status as Isabella's parent.

...Afterward, their relationship soured, Janet said. Lisa moved back to Virginia and filed for dissolution of the civil union in Vermont. A Vermont judge gave Janet temporary joint custody. But Lisa challenged Janet's presumption of parentage, said Judy Barone, Lisa's attorney in Vermont, speaking on her behalf.

Barone said that Janet's mistake was not adopting Isabella. "If you're a stepparent, you have to adopt to call yourself a parent to that child," she said. ...

Barone said the case underscores that women--regardless of sexual orientation--need to understand the law when making choices about marriage and children.

"It's ludicrous in our society that these are fuzzy issues, and we as women need to stand up and make sure they're not," she said. "You'd think that people who decided to enter a legal relationship and have children would have looked into what they needed to do to secure their legal rights. They're just going haphazardly into these situations and having children."

The outcome can be equally devastating when the biological parent in a same-sex family dies.

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posted by Eve at 10:12 PM VOTE

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