FATHERS AND SONS--MARRIAGE AND LEARNING BY EXAMPLE: From Crosswalk

[An older article, sent to me by a friend. There's an unintentional (I assume) undertone of fatalism in this piece. I'd say that it's not just marriage education classes that can help men whose parents didn't model a healthy marriage; there's also social support, marrying a woman from a strong family background, and, obviously, the basic fact that no one is predetermined to succeed or fail at making a good marriage--individuals can overcome obstacles, and learn from parents' mistakes rather than repeating them. OK, I'm getting off my soapbox now....--Eve]

...In the survey, according to a report in USA Today, 63 percent of married men grew up in traditional, two-parent homes, while 37 percent grew up in non-traditional families. The men from non-traditional families were found to be more mistrustful of women, and more likely to have "live together" relationships with women, cohabitating without benefit of marriage. ...

The newspaper article noted that some marriage and family experts feel the study may be over-generalizing, or that it ignores the wide variation in non-traditional families. James Bray of Baylor College of Medicine pointed out that boys and girls who grow up in step-parent families tend to behave similarly to children from intact homes. However, the overall consensus appears to be that growing up in a healthy, stable, two-parent home makes a measurable difference in later life.

Diane Sollee is director of SmartMarriages.com, a marriage education and improvement information clearinghouse. She told USA Today that many men have learned their attitudes about marriage and women by example from their fathers; and for those who had absent fathers, or who saw their dads estranged from their mothers by divorce or having a string of relationships with new wives or girlfriends -- these men have also learned by example.

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posted by Eve at 2:06 PM VOTE

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