SEARCHING FOR "HAPPILY EVER AFTER": Profile of couples in NJ case, from the Star-Ledger

...Even Marcye Nicholson and Karen McFadden did not imagine they might one day marry when, as twenty-somethings, they started dating in 1989.

"If you come to an understanding at a young age that you're gay, it was never even on the radar screen that you could marry the person you love," said Karen, 38, who grew up in Broomall, Pa., outside Philadelphia. ...

Each wears a thick band, cut from the same block of gold, on her left ring finger.

"We consider it a marriage ring, and it's a symbol obviously to the outside world that we're quote-unquote 'married' -- so nobody gets the wrong idea," Karen said. In 1997, they legally changed their last names to Nicholson-McFadden. ...

They each conceived a child through artificial insemination. Marcye carried Kasey, who was then adopted by Karen. Then, Karen carried Maya, who was adopted by Marcye. By court ruling, New Jersey has allowed members of same-sex couples to adopt their partner's children since 1995.

They do not know who the genetic father is except that it was the same donor for both children, giving them a shared biology, Karen said. But while they willingly share the genetic and legal details, they are adamant on one point: these are their children.

"We had a child together," Karen said of Kasey's birth. "People will say Kasey is Marcye's child, and that makes me crazy. They're both my kids."

Marcye, who feels the same, said, "I think as a society most of us are beyond how kids are brought into being." ...

A coalition that includes the Catholic Conference and the New Jersey Family Policy Council contends that by endorsing same-sex marriage, "law and government will be making a powerful statement: our government no longer believes children deserve mothers and fathers."

"If two mothers are just the same as a mother and a father, for example, why can't a single mother and her mother do just as well as a married mom and dad?" the coalition asked rhetorically. "Why are dads relevant at all?"

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