SONGS ABOUT MARRIAGE: Lots from Lynn Gazis-Sax

[I've excerpted from her emails, mostly cutting songs that are more "high-romantic." Not because they were bad choices, just because otherwise this post would be even longer, and I really liked some of her choices and wanted to showcase them. (The last folksong reminds me of "As I Roved Out," a fierce little song.) --Eve]

Let's see. There's a couple about arranged marriages between people of widely different ages. First we have:
He's My Bonnie, Bonnie Boy And He's Growing

Father, dear father, pray what is this you've done?
You've wed me tae a college lad, a boy who's far too young,
For he is only sixteen years and I am twenty-one.
He's my bonnie, bonnie boy, and he's growing.

(And it continues through their having a child, and the husband dying young, "And death has put an end to his growing.")

Then, the older man (probably, though I suppose not certainly, arranged):
Maids, When You're Young, Never Wed an Old Man

An old man came courting me,
Hey ding doorum!
An old man came courting me,
Me being young.
And old man came courting me,
Fain would he marry me.
Maids when you're young,
Never wed an old man.

For he's got no faloorum,
Faliddle-i-oorum.
He's got no faloorum,
Faliddle-i-ay!
He's got no faloorum,
He's lost his ding doorum.
So, maids, when you're young,
Never wed an old man.

Then there are the people trying to escape arranged marriages:

Why weep ye by the tide, lady?
Why weep ye by the tide?
I'll wed ye tae my youngest son,
And ye shall be his bride.
And ye shall be his bride, lady,
Sae comely tae be seen.
But ay, she loot the tears doon fa,
For Jock o' Hazeldean. ...

And then there are the songs of older couples looking back on their marriages:

They say you've become old and grey, Maggie,
And your step is less sprightly than then.
And your face is a well-written page, Maggie,
But time, time alone was the pen.

(I think "your face is a well-written page" is one of my favorite lines in a song.) ...

And there's the nagging wife who gets given to the devil in "The Devil and the Farmer's Wife": "But you can have my nagging wife. By God, she's the curse of my life." And I don't remember the lyrics, but she makes herself such a pain that the devil sends her back.

And I suppose you could sort of count, "My mother-in-law has long been dead. She got caught in the folding bed" since without a marriage, there wouldn't be a mother-in-law.

And finally, there's this unfortunate young woman in pursuit of a husband:
Soldier boy

Soldier boy, will you marry me,
With your musket, fife, and drum?
How can I marry such a pretty girl as you,
When I've got no boots to put on.

So off to the shoe shop she did go,
As fast as she could run,

And so on, as the soldier talks her into buying him a whole wardrobe, before finally admitting:

How can I marry such a pretty girl as you,
With a wife and twelve children at home?

Broadway: Possibly my favorite Broadway song about marriage: "Don't Marry Me," from Flower Drum Song:

If you want to have a rosy future,
And be happy as a honey bee,
With a husband who will always love you,
Baby, don't marry me.

If you want a man you can depend on,
I can absolutely guarantee,
I will never fail to disappoint you,
Cookie, don't marry me.

I eat lychee nuts and crackers in bed,
And I fill the bed with nutshells and crumbs.
I have irritating habits you'll dread,
Like the way I have of cracking my thumbs. ...

(Woman sings)
I would always like to know where you are.
I don't like a man to leave me in doubt.
(Man sings)
Honey, that's a thing that's easy to say.
You will always know where I am. I'm out!

I'm devoted to my dear old mama,
And if you and mama disagree,
I will always side with her against you.
Baby, don't marry me.

Then there is, of course, I Do! I Do!, which is a whole musical *entirely* of songs about marriage, from the couple's blissful wedding, through the birth of their children, their arguments ("You Chew In Your Sleep"), their near divorce ("It's a Well-Known Fact" and "Flaming Agnes"), to the point where they see their children marry ("When the Kids Get Married" and "My Daughter Is Marrying an Idiot"), and finally are anticipating old age together.

And the obvious, Fiddler on a Roof, with songs like that one where Tevye asks Golde if she loves him and "Sunrise, Sunset." ...All of these songs, in musicals (I Do! I Do!, Carousel, and Shenandoah) are terribly sexist, singing first the expectations for a boy and then the totally different expectations for a girl. What I liked in Shenandoah was the way it was done, by first having the grandfather bursting with joy about what he's sure will be a new grandson, and then, as soon as he learns it's a girl, pausing just a moment before singing an equally happy welcome to a new granddaughter. ...

Endlessly forgiving women (one married and one soon-to-be): "Adelaide" in the movie version of Guys and Dolls ("Adelaide, Adelaide, ever-loving Adelaide, is taking a chance on me. Taking a chance I'll be respectable and nice, give up cards and dice, take up shoes and rice.") and "Can't Help Loving that Man" in Showboat ("He can come home as late as can be, home without him ain't no home for me.")

On the gay side, there is, on the one hand, Cage aux Folles, in which we get gay pride ("I am what I am, and what I am needs no excuses"), longterm same-sex marriage (the men's version of "Life is a Celebration," neatly paralleling a song sung early by their son of his bride-to-be), and the self-sacrificing gay "mother" (or should I say the more femmy of the two fathers), "who puts himself last, so that you can be first." Or, alternatively, the thoroughly confused and neurotic Marvin, of March of the Falsettos, a chronicle of his divorce (favorite song: "I Want a Tight-Knit Family," where Marvin hopes for himself, his new lover, the wife he's left for the new lover, and his son to all live together in harmony).
posted by Eve at 10:01 PM VOTE

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