THE HETEROSEXUAL CASE FOR SSM: Ian Ayres and Jennifer Gerarda Brown

[More on the role of social norms and shared understandings of marriage. --Eve]

...For example, as heterosexuals, it is easier for us to see the ways in which the exclusion of gay couples from marriage is actually weakening the private and social demands for legal commitments.

This reduced demand for heterosexual marriage can most clearly be seen in the small but growing group of heterosexuals who refuse to marry now because of discrimination. You can search long and hard without finding a heterosexual couple who refuses to marry in Massachusetts because the state legalized gay marriage. But you can find different-sexed couples who refuse to marry in other states where gay friends and family members cannot. Just google the phrase "hetero holdouts."

It's increasingly embarrassing (outside of Massachusetts) to invite gay friends to come celebrate your marriage. The Ethicist column in the New York Times Sunday Magazine has responded to readers struggling with the question of whether it’s moral to take a marriage benefit that is invidiously denied others. Some people don't want to drink from a whites-only water fountain.

Our own Episcopal parish has joined other churches across the country in declining to marry heterosexual couples in a world where same-sex couples cannot. ...

Defining marriage literally in terms of gender is increasingly out of step with aspirations that many heterosexual couples have for their relationships. Many heterosexual couples would resist the notion that there is a clearly defined role for one partner based on the fact that she's a woman, and a distinct role for the other partner based upon the fact that he's a man. But this is the off-putting assumption that underlies a requirement that marriage must include one man and one woman.

The lack of marriage equality has also eroded societal demands for legal commitments. Employers increasingly are allowing same-sex and heterosexual couples to qualify for benefits if they merely claim to be domestic partners. They think it's unfair to deny same-sex couples these benefits in a world where they can't marry; and next they conclude that it's unfair to deny unmarried heterosexual couples these benefits in a world where unmarried same-sex couples qualify.

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posted by Eve at 11:34 AM VOTE

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