What's Next - Jews for Meat Equality?

By David Benkof
DavidBenkof@aol.com

A California organization known as Jews for Marriage Equality has been getting some attention lately, including this article (which does not bother to interview a single Jewish opponent of same-sex marriage) in the Jewish Journal of Los Angeles.

Jews for Marriage Equality makes about as much as sense as Jews for Meat Equality pushing for equal treatment of pork alongside beef, chicken, and lamb as foods approved for Jewish consumption.

The evidence from Jewish texts is overwhelming that Judaism opposes - and G-d opposes - same-sex marriage, both between Jews but also in the wider society. (See below.)

Nonetheless, Jewish proponents of same-sex marriage tend to reject the notion that a Jew can legitimately oppose same-sex marriage - and they certainly never acknowledge that theirs is a revolutionary position with little precedent in Jewish history and thought. When they do discuss traditional Jewish perspectives on sexuality and marriage, their comments are generally misrepresentations - if not outright lies.

For example, the Jews For Marriage Equality brochure states that only "the most liberal" Orthodox Jews will "concede" that gay Jews are, in fact, Jews. This ludicrous statement has no basis in fact. All Orthodox Jews agree that anyone of any sexuality who has a Jewish mother or who has converted to Judaism according to Jewish law is Jewish.

Two years ago, a coalition of eight Bay Area groups sponsored an event at a gay temple in San Francisco called "Smashing the Glass: Jewish Perspectives on Marriage Equality." There were nine speakers, not a single one of whom favors Judaism's longstanding position that marriage is by definition a union of a man and a woman. The event displayed as much chutzpah as an event called "Jewish Perspectives on Circumcision" with speakers who all argue that circumcision is immoral and therefore un-Jewish because it involves the genital mutilation of a child without his consent.

Another example is the Web site Gay Marriage: Civil Right or Civil Wrong which wanted someone to explain Orthodox opposition to same-sex marriage. So whom did they ask - a local Chabad rabbi? A representative of some major Orthodox institution? An openly LGBT person like me who believes in and practices Orthodox Judaism?

No. They asked Cantor David Berger, the openly gay Reform cantor of New York's main gay synagogue. And virtually everything he said about Orthodoxy was incorrect.

It's like asking a radical feminist to explain why the Catholic Church opposes abortion. Or inviting Jesse Jackson to justify why the Republican Party opposes racial preferences.

Berger makes five mistakes about Orthodox Judaism in just three paragraphs:

1) He claims that the Torah's prohibition of a specific type of gay sex has "been expanded in traditional Jewish law" into "a general prohibition on homosexuality." Nonsense. I know of no Jewish source or recognized authority who considers not just acts but also same-sex attractions or gay/lesbian orientations to be prohibited. There are many Jews with such attractions and orientations who follow Jewish law and are welcomed and cherished members of the Orthodox community.

2) He claims that the Torah's prohibition on gay relations "applies only to Jews.... Non Jews are neither obligated by this law nor may they be punished for violating it." False. The prohibitions against the act sometimes called "buggery" and against same-sex marriage are "Noahide" commandments. Those are laws that apply to every human being, whether Jewish or not.

3) Berger claims that state-sanctioned marriage "is not a Jewish legal category." Wrong. One of the Noahide laws prohibits adultery. If Judaism considered non-Jews in civil marriages to not really be married, then how could they commit adultery? Of course Orthodox Judaism considers non-Jews married by the state to be actually married.

4) He claims, with no evidence, that Orthodox Jewish families and schools teach "rampant homophobia" to Jewish children. Huh? In the vast majority of Orthodox homes and schools, homosexuality is not discussed at all - positively or negatively. Orthodox children are nowhere systematically taught to fear or hate gay people. True, Orthodox Jews instill the importance of channeling sexuality into the marital (male-female) bond. That is a longstanding Jewish value. But homophobia? No.

5) He rejects the "easy" notion that Orthodox Jews are against same-sex marriage because of the Torah, and writes that "the real answer" relates to "the nature of Orthodox Jewish culture, community, and education." In other words, there can be no genuine Jewish objections to same-sex marriage, only ignorant opinions based on fear or hate. So when we point to verses in the Torah (especially Genesis and Leviticus) and sections of the Talmud (especially Chullin and Kiddushin) that uphold traditional Jewish bedroom and family life, those are only smokescreens for the real reason we don't support Berger's radical stance - our irrational prejudices.

One of the many problems with this last argument is that Orthodox Jews who are not homophobic still reject same-sex marriage. I'm one example. Another is the well-known iconoclastic Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, who has many pro-gay stances. Rabbi Boteach is nonetheless firm in his opposition to both Jewish and civil same-sex marriages. Or take Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, who usually votes with the Democrats. He has sponsored gay-rights bills and adopted many gay causes. But as an Orthodox Jew, he opposes same-sex marriage. Does Berger believe Boteach, Lieberman, and me are all homophobic?

The fact is, the Talmud criticizes Babylonian society for violating nearly all the Noahide commandments - yet praises it for at least observing three such strictures, one of which forbids same-sex marriages.

Orthodox Jews believe that the Talmud, as part of the Oral Law, ultimately comes from G-d. Thus Judaism's position - and G-d's position, we believe - is that same-sex marriages are wrong even for non-Jews.

Now, I realize that non-Orthodox people have the right in a free society to disagree. But when they pretend theirs is the only Jewish position, and when they lie about Orthodox Jewish beliefs regarding family and bedroom life, they're not playing fair.

Many liberal Jews have decried the "Abortion Counseling Centers" run by pro-life people who discuss all options with pregnant women - except abortion. An evening spotlighting "Jewish Perspectives on Marriage Equality" that includes only voices that are hostile to the centuries-long Jewish position on marriage is just as deceptive.

The Web sites, publications, and organizations described above, and similar ones, should include at least one Orthodox person whenever they want honest discussions on Jewish views on sexuality and the family. My E-mail address is above, and there are many other Orthodox people - clergy and lay, straight and gay - who would be qualified to join in.

Labels: Judaism, Marriage

posted by David Benkof at 11:22 PM VOTE

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