To be pro-marriage these days is to be dismissed as an eccentric at best or a bigot at worst. You think I'm exaggerating? Then take heed of the following.

This week, new CSO figures revealed that the number of births taking place outside marriage keeps on rising. It is now one birth in every three and among 20-24 year olds it is the majority. But if you point out that this is a cause for alarm, you will be accused of victimising single parents.

Or if you point out that same-sex marriage or civil partnerships are a bad idea, and they are, you are accused of homophobia. If you suggest that the 500pc increase in marital breakdown that has occurred since 1986 is a bad thing, you're stigmatising divorced people.

As for cohabitation, well, it's up 400pc in only 10 years. But on your peril try pointing out that cohabiting couples are more likely to divorce than couples who don't first cohabit, or that cohabiting parents are twice as likely as married parents to split before their children are grown up. Again, you're offending people.

The pro-marriage argument is exceedingly simple. It is based on the indisputable fact that it is best, in general, for a child to be raised by a loving mother and father who are married. All counter-arguments must deny this. All counter-arguments must say that there is no special advantage in a child having a loving, married mum and dad.

But in fact, the argument rarely gets this far because it is short-circuited by accusations of judgmentalism, prejudice and even bigotry. Therefore, most people are now scared to defend marriage, scared to say it's best for a child to have a loving mother and father, scared of being labelled.

Labels: culture, Ireland, Marriage

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