It might not be everybody's idea of sexual foreplay, but for an Ottawa man and his live-in partner, being bound and choked into unconsciousness was a favoured way of life.

The couple have an eight-year relationship, and are parents of a two-and-a-half-year-old son.

However, things went too far during one of the couple's asphyxial trysts in early 2007. ...

The boyfriend was charged and convicted of sexual assault.

In late March, however, his conviction was overturned by the Ontario Court of Appeal in a 2-1 ruling, which may set up one of the more bizarre hearings the Supreme Court of Canada has hosted in recent years.

Assuming that the Ontario Crown appeals – and most observers believe that this will happen – the nine-judge bench will depart from its usual dry fare to decide whether an unconscious person can consent in advance to supplying sexual gratification for others. ...

But Prof. Sheehy said sexual activity is the product of an ongoing, consensual relationship. “The question is, are we really prepared to say that people can consent to having their bodies used in those ways?” she said. “I think it degrades our humanity.”

Labels: autonomy, Canada, feminism, sex, sexual assault

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...But while it's easy to hate on divorce, let's not forget that it's a wonderful institution that not too long ago Americans were fighting to make more easily accessible. It gets people out of abusive (both emotionally and physically) relationships and is often a sign of people changing or growing further apart. For some people who marry young it's part of emotionally maturing.

And, most importantly, no-fault divorce is part of living in a free society where both men and women are able to choose how they want to live. Because no matter how much we might think it's a great idea to force people to stay in a marriage they don't want to be in, they are the ones who should ultimately make that decision, not the government.

Covenant marriage appears at first glance like a solution in search of a problem. If both people in a couple really, really wanted to make their marriage difficult to get out of, they'd simply impose on themselves the rules that come with covenant marriage.

A couple in a regular marriage can say, "Neither of us is going to jail, no one committed adultery, and neither of us is physically abusing the other. So, even though we'd very much like to divorce, we're not going to." ...

Same-sex marriage is about promoting sexual autonomy and letting people decide for themselves how they want to live their lives, not about sending same-sex couples back to the 1950's where divorce was a dirty word.

Covenant marriage is the ideological opposite of what we should be doing, which is expanding the options people have so that they can choose the relationship rights and recognitions they need to protect the families they already have.

Labels: autonomy, covenant marriage, culture, divorce, gay marriage

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